CPTSD | ACON| Codependent| Complex Trauma| Child Abuse| TRAITS | Recovery

Here is a resource for finding your Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome (NAS) traits, And the recovery model on how to help yourself get over them. 

The 34 traits I found in an "Echo" recovery group and the recovery part comes from a book "The Narcissistic Family".  

Note: There is also a great list of symptoms in the new book "Complex Trauma: From Surviving to Thriving" by Pete Walker, which I'd like to add in, but this is a long enough post already.  I just wanted to mention it as a reference for more recovery on the topic.

34 Traits of an adult child of a narcissistic parent (and subsequent spouse/boss/friends, etc.)

1.      Isolation became they became keepers of the family secret of abuse or neglect which lead to isolation even between siblings (and possibly continued into adulthood believing in the “don't ask don’t tell” motto)

2.      Unacknowledged anger or inappropriately expresses anger

3.      Feels like a hollow or invisible person

4.      Feels inadequate and defective

5.      Suffers from periodic anxiety and depression and has no clue how he/she got that way

6.      Tension and fears abandonment

7.      Distrust others and well as themselves to met his/her own needs

8.      Have communication issues such as: expresses his /her feelings indirectly or obliquely or uses a third party to communicate

9.      Lack of entitlement to have or express own feelings, needs, opinions (if different than parents), or even to say “no”

10.     Programmed to not say “no” leads to unclear or weak boundaries even into adulthood

11.     Expected to “read minds” and train to anticipate needs even before they have been expressed by parents … in adulthood he/she then wants and tries to “help” without being first asked …gives unsolicited advice

12.     Become “people pleasure”

13.     Become “all or nothing” thinkers … see world in “black or white” terms sometimes leads to view others as either “for me or against me” rather than accepting that other can agree on some issues and disagree on others

14.     Unable to deal with any kind of criticism overt or implied “They take a rejection of anything they do, think, say, or feel as a rejection of themselves.”

15.     Unwilling to accept that even if they recover and become healthy they are still unable to change outcome of a toxic relationship

16.     Become over controlling because programmed to believe that others’ choices and behaviors are his/her responsibility and within his/her control or respondsablity.

17.     Become overly protective of others (see reason above)

18.     Yet may not control his/her own behaviors or choices (this wasn’t programmed to be his/her “right”)

19.     Feel uncomfortable and insecure when perceived disapproval from others

20.     Become perfectionist as a means to avoid rejection or punishment

21.     Become over achiever as a means to gain acceptance

22.     Unable to defer gratification to reach long term goals

23.     Need “quick fixes”

24.     Distrust of others and “system “to work to his/her benefit

25.     Low self esteem distorts vision of reality ... they see everyone else as more capable, attractive….more everything

26.     Unrealistic expectations of themselves and others

27.     Gives into emotional blackmailers who manipulate by use of:  fear, false obligation, and unearned guilt

28.     Rescuer

29.     Care taker to an extreme … consistently placing everyone’s needs above his/her own

30.     Use repression and denial as defend mechanism

31.     Can become obsessive

32.     “Poor communicators “

33.     Overly compared with other children and thought that you could not “win” need attention from parents unless someone else “lost” and always felt you came up short and couldn’t met expectations of parents

34.     In the latter stages of progression, Echo’s condition deteriorates he/she may:

•       feel lethargic

•       severely depressed

•       become withdrawn and totally isolated

•       experience a complete loss of daily routine and structure

•       abuse or neglect children and other responsibilities

•       feel hopeless

•       thinks about suicide

•       becomes violent

•       becomes seriously emotionally, mentally, or physically ill

•       experiences eating disorder (over or under eats)

•       becomes addicted to alcohol, gambling, shopping, or drugs

~~~

Ok, so that's the "PROBLEM", what's the "SOLUTION"?  

Recovery of course. What does Recovery look like for this problem?

Recovery: Six Stages of Recovery

(From the book "The Narcissistic Family" and how they relate to the 12 step recovery program), a post taken from the 'Echo' support group.

1.      Revisiting the past (step 1)

2.      Mourning the loss of the fantasy (step 2 and 3)

3.      Recognition (step 4 and 5)

4.      Evaluation (step 6 -10)

5.      Responsibility for change (step 9 -11)

6.      Sharing one’s own experiences and using encouragement and praise to those that want recovery (my own addition to the list) (step 12)

Revisiting the past (step 1)

This stage has to do with the person coming to realize that his childhood or toxic relationship was not an ideal one and coming to recognize the reality of his situation. Further-more, the person comes to realize the continuing attempts to “get it right” (to create or recreate the ideal family or relationship) are a waste of time, because it cannot and will not happen; he, as an adult, still lacks the power to change the FOO and/or other toxic relationship.

Mourning the loss of the fantasy (steps 2 and 3)

This stage is the most painful and liberating one. It is painful of course, because “dreams die most painful deaths”. It is liberating though, because then the person is free to use the energies and personal resources that he/she once spent trying to do the impossible, to now do things that he/she can.

Concentrating energy on that fantasy is destructive for several reasons:

It presupposes that the person is somehow wrong, or defective; if he could just do it better, be different, find the key, then he could get his needs met. In short, it blames the victim.

It keeps the person involved with the FOO system or toxic relationship, which may preclude creating or adequately maintaining his own family or relationships of choice. It is a waste of time.

It keeps the person fixed on a goal that he can never achieve; getting his needs met by his/her parent system. It is a set-up for failure.

It sets up a situation where opportunities for good interaction with the parent system-if they ever occur- will probably be missed, because the underlying unrealistic expectations and resultant anger will make any kind of relaxed interaction impossible. It creates a pattern of missed opportunities.

Recognition (steps 4 and 5)

This stage is one of acceptance, involving recognizing the effects of being raised in a Nhousehold or engaged in a toxic relationship that are evidenced in the person’s life now. It involves being able to identify specific personality traits or character flaws that can be traced back to the dysfunctional upbringing or selection process of toxic relationship. One becomes aware of “why” he/she “is” the way that he/she is.

It is important though, that the person NOT be blamed for having developed these traits. These traits did serve the person well and were effective at the time they were needed, but these protective techniques have out-lived their usefulness and need to be discarded, and replaced with constructive methods.  

Another important point to be made is that the Npersonality or toxic relationship has NOT changed even though the “echo” personality has learned healthier behavior himself/herself. And that a healthy intimate relationship will always be impossible as along as there is Npersonality or toxic relationship involved. (Because it takes two healthy people to make one healthy relationship) At best, only a relationship of tolerance (one sided relationship) is possible.

Evaluation (steps 6-10)

Evaluation involves the person assessing his/her current situation and deciding which among his/her personality traits he/she wants to keep and which are no longer are functional or helpful. He/she decides which he/she wants to change.

Responsibility for change (steps 9-11)

The last stage is the one in which the person does the work to change any of the now out-dated character flaws or personality traits he/she does have.

Once one is shown that he/she no longer is bound by these defective means of relating, than the person is able to forgive more easily. Forgiving is about letting go of feelings of resentment, rage, vindictiveness and the desire for revenge or control.

Share one’s own experiences and use encouragement and praise to those who want recovery. (step 12)

I added this item to the Stage of Recovery list because it has been my own experience that I cannot keep what I don’t give away. There is just something about listening to other’s share their story and me sharing mine that continues the healing process.

Maybe it is because it forms that environment where we can go and feel safe, develop trust, feel: accepted, affirmed, understood and supported. I don’t know all the reasons why it works. I do know that when I am willing to listen, to encourage and to praise, I am able to remain more peaceful, more serene inside myself. I am able to find happiness that I did not previously have. I do know that unless I can find happiness within myself I cannot find it anywhere else.

~~~

So we got the "Problem" and the "Solution", now, what are the "TOOLS"?

 There are many coping skills to learn, practice and master. There are some powerful healing tools to learn as well. In my opinion, if one can't afford EMDR therapy, then EFT Tapping is a great (free) alternative.

Five or so years ago I would have said to get my book and work through your codependency issues with tapping like I did.  and that's still a good place to start, there are plenty of YouTube videos on tapping.

But I've since found something better, easier, faster, deeper and without having to learn a lot or do the tapping part.  I took my recovery healing a quantum step further  with NLP. It's not so easy to learn like tapping is, and you have to learn it without the need to understand it to be able to use. It seems complicated but it's very simple and easy once you get the gist of it.

The gist of it is self-healing by way of learning how to communicate and negotiate with yourself by going within and working with the various "inner parts" that are acting up, integrate those parts so they are both on the same team working FOR you instead of opposing each other.

For EFT Tapping I recommend my book "Emotional Freedom Techniques for Codependency Recovery" where there are over 100 traits to Tap on a well a 500 codependent statements and an additional 500 recovery statements to Tap on. "Codependency and Complex Trauma and narcissistic abuse syndrome" are labels that could be used interchangeably.  Just getting through some of that stuff will help break up the problem patterns and bring emotional relief and freedom to start making better choices. So by all means try Tapping.

But you can also skip Tapping and go straight to NLP. I recommend my "Inner Peace Process" which I've made blog posts and videos on to thoroughly explain how it works so you can use it on yourself. I don't know why exactly, but the NLP that I do has deeper and longer lasting effects than all the years I spent Tapping on issues. The IPP is a deceivingly simple process that doesn't seem like much on paper but has profound effects when doing the actual process.

Don't get me wrong, all that Tapping really helped, in fact I often say it 'saved my life', but there was more work to be done with deep-seated patterns and BELIEFS that I could not change just by tapping on them. I did see major changes in beliefs and behavior when I used NLP on them that I didn't see with Tapping alone.

So now what I'll do is some videos using the Inner Peace Process on some of these NAS or ACON traits so that you can follow along at home and start healing your issues too.

Here is a link to my Inner Peace Process Training and Videos Page

The Inner Peace Process is very easy to learn, from either my videos or my posts explaining the steps.  One doesn't need to master NLP in order to use it and reap the benefits.

This is my way of giving back and helping those who are confused and still suffering from NAS/ACON issues. It breaks my heart to be in so many narc groups and hear everyone's pain and struggles. and I want to message them and say , "Here is what helped me recovery", but I don't want to be "spammy" so I decided to create a blog to refer people to who are interested and want to get to work on their recovery.

It's a journey no doubt, but it gets better, there is hope and empowerment in the process that is priceless!

In fact, I'm a strong supporter of having BOTH healing tools and a recovery program to really move through the stages of healing and into an empowered life that you had no idea you'd ever had. You can check out my other blog https://recoverytapping.blogspot.com for more stuff on recovery including my depression coloring workbook, recovery action plans and my 6 step guide to dating after abuse and 10 years worth of musings and tips about Recovery and Tapping.

I wanted to create a brand new blog where all I focused on was Complex Trauma issues and NLP* processes to heal them. (*Neurol-Linguistic Programming, but it might as well be called "inner-communication and integration", that would explain it better and not sound so complicated - and misleading because we are not using 'language' and we are not 'programming', we're going within and communicating with our inner parts and integrating them which results in the ability to move forward without the inner conflicts or limiting beliefs holding you back.) So don't get too hung up on the words of what a process is labeled.

It's more important to focus on the fact that there is life after complex trauma and there is life after processing and recovery.  There is wellness to be increased, there are many lessons along the way and sure things come up from time to time, life happens, but what's different is that you have the tools and recovery for that now.

You can truly live a life that seems different from your earlier, or current life where you were just surviving and always triggered and pressured.  It's called coming into your own authentic self, led by your inner wise mind and true interests and dreams which you have for a reason. You devote yourself to yourself and it pays off. My IPP process teaches you how to heal yourself.

We did not get this far to then hide out the rest of our lives hoping no more trauma every happens again, afraid to reach out because we've been burned so much before/because we keep making the same relationship mistakes as before. There is life after all of that where those just aren't issues anymore.

By working on your recovery, a daily routine of wellness that includes support and creativity and movement and loving self more, one day you wake up to the fact that you have no more toxic people in your life, or you're no longer isolated and lonely or you have made progress and accomplished goals or that you are healthier, etc.  After months of healing techniques you wake up to forgetting your triggers and smiling comes naturally and easier.

Recovery and wellness are the gifts that keep on giving. You will see the results and the effects of taking care of yourself.  You are the one you've always been waiting for and you no longer resent it but cherish it that you are 100% responsible for your choices and actions every day. You finally feel "OK", you finally feel "good enough", you finally feel (somewhat) "over it", you finally feel challenged but not overwhelmed, supported but independent, able to love but with wisdom this time.

I have a very strong urge to give what I've learned to help others. Today, I've learned to follow my inner voice and urges, I know they're there for a reason.

See the LINK below for my IPP Training Videos I made just for this purpose.

Please feel free to share to anyone you think this might help. No strings attached. Nothing for sale.

Love and Hugs,

Jeanette

<<FREE TRAINING VIDEOS for The INNER PEACE PROCESS on this page.>>

The Inner Peace Process is an NLP Mindfulness Method that helps Process Traumatic Stress into Post Traumatic Growth

How To Create Inner PEACE OF MIND

The "Inner Peace Process" is an NLP Mindfulness Method that helps Process Traumatic Stress into Post Traumatic Growth.

The basic premise is that you Go Within yourself and communicate with your unconscious parts that are causing you angst, grief, regret, guilt, resentment, disappointment, upset, confusion, etc. and heal or clear it as a result of inner communication and calling up inner resources to work together to help you move forward without the upset.

It doesn't matter what the upset is about. People suffering from Complex Trauma will have any number of triggers and upsets and it doesn't matter what it is, if you can feel it, you can heal it. The only thing you need to do to use the Inner Peace Process or IPP is to FEEL the upset somewhere in your body.

For example; when anxious some people feel a pressure in their chest, or when scared they feel it in their gut, or when sad they feel their heart is breaking, etc.  The somatic marker can be anywhere you feel it - physically, energetically, vaguely, subtly.

When to go within. You 'go within' any time you pay attention to your inner mind or body from the inside. You use your imagination or your mind's eye to look within.

You stay awake, this is not hypnosis, you do not go into a trance, you are awake and conscious and you're wanting to ask the part of you that is upset some key questions.

So "you", the awake conscious you in the here and now, are upset about something (can be anything and it doesn't matter what it is, you don't have to go into the whole story of it, you don't have to say out loud what it is, you don't ever have to expose any of the content you want to keep private - all that you need is to feel an upset in your body.

The last time I used IPP, I was so upset with someone that triggered several feelings in me, that I noticed my hands were shaking and I was unable to 'talk' without getting upset or maybe crying, so I had to just hold it in and get away from where I was. As soon as I got to a safe place I handled it then. I used the IPP for about 10 minutes, and went back later like nothing was wrong and nothing had happened and no one knew I was ever upset.

So what did I do when I got by myself and was ready to use the IPP on myself?  I went back to my hands being shaky and I got a sense of pressure in my chest and a little lump in my throat. So I went to my chest, because that's where I felt it most, and also that is usually where I have feelings when I'm upset. But I could have chosen my shaking hands, or lump in throat. It would still work and it doesn't matter.

The only thing that matters is that you tune into the physical sensation or the somatic marker of the emotional upset. Where do you feel it in your body?

Then you ask the 5 magic questions (sights (shape and color), weight, temperature and sound.

The process of asking those 5 sense questions is the process of going within more and more. Each time you go within to ask and pause and find the answer, you are going more within yourself and tuning more into the part of you that is generating the upset.

This unconscious part of you is wanting to get your attention - that's why it's causing a physical sensation, to alert you to your upset.

The more you pay attention to it, ask it questions and listen to its answers, the more you are forming a relationship with it and communicating with it.

The more you communicate with your inner parts, the easier it gets, and you'll get better at it over time where you'll be able to do this even faster and without much effort.

Doing the IPP over time also has this accumulated effect, where you are triggered less and less, less often and less intense. You'll notice things happen that used to get you upset that just don't anymore or you'll feel it very mildly.  You will be as calm as a Tibetan Monk after 90 days or more of using it.

I like to suggest you use it for 5 - 15 minutes a day for 90 days.

This is easy to do if you make a list of 90 things/memories/people/arguments/situations, etc that have upset you in any way. List things that upset you by just thinking about them.  It's OK if you have less or more than 90 things, the point is to start with a list. Each day you do the IPP on the next one on the list. If you think of more things, add them to the list. It's a good way to keep track of your progress.

First write the list of things that upset you.
Then write a SUDs score for each of those things (how much it upsets you on a scale of 1 - 10).
Then write the date next to the first one, and do the IPP.
Then give it an after score of 1 - 10 so you can see the difference.
Then the next day, write the date on the next thing on the list, the before SUDS and after SUDS.
And so on, clearing one issue per day for 90 days.

Using the IPP

So you identify an upset, you give it a SUDs score and you locate where you feel it in your body.

Then you go within and ask yourself the 5 magic questions about that sensation.
You ask what shape it is.
You pause and look with your mind's eye what shape is that sensation or energy in your chest or where ever it is and you get a sense of it or a clear shape appears in your mind. Let's say it's a large cube with rounded corners.
Then you go within, looking at the cube in your chest, you ask What color is it? And you look and you sort of get a sense of maybe bluish-black with dark purple but not completely black but it looks dark.
Then you ask it how much it weighs.
You go within to get a sense of how much would that weigh if I held it in my hands. Is it heavier than a bag of sugar? Does it feel like a loaf of bread? You get a sense and then guesstimate the weight. Let's say it feels like 2 pounds.
Then you go within again and ask yourself What temperature it is?
So you use your imagination, go within some more and feel it with your mind's eye, pretend you're touching it with your hands, does it feel cool or warm?  Let's say it feels hot, hotter than you, so maybe 100 degrees.
Lastly you go within again and ask it What does it sound like. You pause and listen and try to get a sense of what do you hear.  It might be silence or some sort of sound or maybe a voice with words. It could be a whirling sound or a white noise sound or calm silence or dead silence, just try to describe what you hear.

The answers do not matter, what matters is that as a result of asking these questions you have done several important things:
you've gone within yourself and quieted your conscious mind and your body is probably more relaxed too
you've gone within and listened to a part of you that needed to be acknowledged and heard
you've gone within and paid attention to a part of you instead of trying to cover it up, ignore it or get rid of it in some other way, maybe unhealthy ways like drinking or eating to get past an upset.
You've gone into a mildly meditative, mindful state of mind.

The reason I say they are 5 "magic" questions is that as a result of answering them, you are now talking to a Part of you, an inner, unconscious part, that now has a tangible shape. That makes it easier to communicate with it.

Now that you have something tangible to communicate with, that represents your upset, the first thing you want to do is ask it if it's willing to communicate with you. You'll get a yes or a no.

If yes, say 'thank you' and proceed.
If no, then put that aside while you go to calling in your inner resources below.

If yes, thank you for communicating with me, now let me ask you another question, what do you want? Pause and wait for the answer to bubble up inside of you.

It usually wants to protect you or help you in some way to stay safe.  But whatever it says, you just listen and take it in. When its done answering, you can further clarify by asking How is it helping you right now by coming up?

Most times it wants you to not be treated bad, or not to forget something, or to get away or to have a boundary. It's there for a reason and everything about you is trying to survive, so whatever the upset is, it is trying to help you survive something. Even if it's not rational or mature or even if it doesn't work, your inner you is trying the best it can to help you. Maybe its there to remind you that you have some healing to do around that issue.

So my chest was a reaction of fear and I talked to that fear and asked it how it was helping me and it flat out said to 'give me a signal that is not a safe person' and I already knew that but it needed me to be able to set a boundary and explain it as matter of fact and not be upset. So first I had to calm down the upset so I could be brave enough to go say what I needed to say to keep myself safe and happy.

So now I got this part, I've described it in physical terms, its communicating with me and told me why it's acting up and I've thanked it. I now have a relationship with it. It trusts me because I took the time to listen because I care.

Now you can pretend to put that object in your left hand and let your left hand represent that part of you that is upset so you can move on with the process.

You've used your imagination to put that body sensation into your left hand, and now you use your imagination to put your inner resources into your right hand.

I like to use these 9 resources but you can use any you want, I just always end with compassion because that is where you want to be at the end, having compassion for yourself for having this upset and for going through whatever you went through before to have this as a trigger.

The 9 resources states below are words I say one at a time, pausing and feeling each word, or remembering a time I felt each word, until they are all in my right hand and they all create a resourceful state or part.

Love
Strength
Courage
Centeredness
Gratitude
Faith
Energy
Power
Compassion


Now I have my problem in my Left hand and my Resource states in my Right hand.

Now there is me, and my left hand and my right hand all working together.
I ask my Left hand if it's willing to work with the Right hand to resolve this problem, to get what it wants (to keep me safe) but without the emotional upset (in my chest), and usually the Left hand will 'say' yes. Sometimes it says 'no' and when it does I just smack my hands together to collapse it. Which still works.  The resource state remains and the upset is usually gone. The reason the left hand says 'no' is usually because its not a useful part anymore, it's outgrown its usefulness and is just stuck and needed to move out. The Right hand will collapse a negative anchor because it is full of resources to take its place.

If the left hand says 'yes', then you let the two hands face each other. I usually like to tell the left hand to "tell the right hand all your problems and issues, or give all your issues and questions and problems to the right hand from the roots to the leaves," and I give it a few seconds to send all its problems to the right hand, and while it's doing that I instruct the Right hand to take it all in and start coming up with some new ideas to help me move forward toward my goal. I tell the Right hand to work on this for the next 24 hours but to maybe give me 1 idea in the next 5 minutes. This suggestion works well because I get at least 1 idea now and the rest I can let go and know that unconsciously my mind is still working out the problem.

Once this feels done, I allow the left and right hands to come together, move toward each other and hold each other, and really hold your hands together for a few seconds, and then acknowledge that you have just formed a new 3rd part, this new part is going to help you move forward.

You ask yourself, if this new part had a name, what would it be? Just see what comes up.
You can ask this new part the 5 magic questions and get a sense of a tangible part if you want, this helps make it stronger and easier to remember later, but its not necessary to do every time.

Most of the time I just ask the new 3rd part, my hands holding each other, a couple more questions and then wrap it up.

I ask, now that this problem is resolved what is the first thing I need to do to take care of myself?
I pause and wait for a good answer of at least 1 thing I can do, a task that I can put on my calendar today, tomorrow or in the the next week. I want something to do in the very near future for this to work best.

I write that down. I see myself doing it in the near future, and I see myself done with it, now I ask, once I'm done with that what is the second thing I need to do to take care of myself to move forward. I pause and get a sense of one more thing to do in the near future.

This is called future-pacing. It brings out some real life things to do to carry the inner healing out into the real world. The new part is usually very clever about knowing what you need because it is made up of the triggered problem plus your inner resources that are working on the problem so it knows exactly what you need.

Make sure the answers feel right. You can do an ecology check and ask if there is any part of you that opposes these tasks you're about to do and see if there are any more parts that need attention, etc.

Usually these is no objection and no other upset parts, but if there were, you just write that down and use the IPP on that specific problem as a separate session. But for now, you just note it down and realize that your next step may be to do the IPP on another issue before you can move forward.

It doesn't matter, all things that come up inside of you are usually for your good or to keep you safe or happy.

What I've learned, and why I say "it doesn't matter" when I talk about what answers come up is, that you are trusting your inner self to know what you need, so you just accept what comes up without judgement. The work is the going within and the inner communication and the integration of the parts - not any of the content.  So don't analyze the content. You may gleam insights from the content, but that's not the important part. The important part is the result: you have less emotional impact and you feel at Peace with yourself as a result of the Inner Peace Process.

The Official Cheat Sheet

JP Bailey’s NLP Ninja - Parts Integration - Inner Peace Process - 3 Basic Versions

1. Everything in this world has a purpose or it wouldn’t exist.
a. Including all of our fears, doubts, and painful emotions, etc.
b. Finding that purpose can be the key to wholeness
2. Three variations of a process called “Parts Integration” from NLP, I call:
a. The Smile Maker
b. The Courage Creator
c. The Smack Down
3. Each process starts with defining the part. Talk about the problem until you feel it. That feeling is the part we are going to communicate with. It can be a sensation, a feeling, a sense, a thought, an experience, a memory, etc. Whatever it is that shows up is a part of you that you are going to communicate with.

A. The Smile Maker
1. Either ask where the part/feeling is in your body and/or imagine holding the part of you generating the problem/feeling, (say, your fear of leaving your job to start your own business), in your left hand. Either way works; you can describe it first then put it in your left hand, or put it in your left hand first and then describe it. Define the part and describe it by answering these 5 questions:
a. What color is it?
b. What shape is it?
c. How heavy is it?
d. What is the temperature?
e. What sound does it make?
2. Communicate with this part:
a. Ask it if it’s willing to communicate with you
b. What does it want?
c. Is it trying to help you in some way?
d. How?
e. Ask it if it would it be willing to help us achieve our goals without having to feel X (the fear, anger, or whatever)?
f. Note: If we can get this part to cooperate and become our ally without being held back by the emotion, that’s the best bet.
But sometimes we need to activate a positive state in the right hand, if so, go on to…

B. The Courage Creator - Transform the Part
1. In your other hand add a new part, filled with lots of good stuff: love, strength, courage, peace, centeredness, grounded, gratitude, faith, power, realizing you are an expert, your life force, pride, self-esteem, compassion, (Other positive states to call up/activate can be: able, eager, worthy, optimistic, excited, powerful self, importance, competent, growing, resourceful, creative, healing, nurturing, proactive, in control, responsible, thoughtful, solution-oriented, smart, self-regulating, mature, courageous, friendly, kind, understanding, optimizing, growth-oriented, etc.)
2. Define this part:
a. What color is it?
b. What shape is it?
c. How heavy is it?
d. What is the temperature?
e. What sound does it make?
3. Then see if the 2 parts would be willing to cooperate to form a new super part that can help you achieve your goals without being held back by the original part. If so…
4. move your hands together and allow the parts to connect and see if they will merge. If so…
5. the problem is resolved. if not, we can use…

C.The Smack Down (release the part/collapse the anchor)
1. sometimes a part’s usefulness is long gone, but it’s stuck. to let it go we can…
2. make the part in your right hand (the new part) feel even more intense and powerful and then
3. With your right hand, smack down the left hand. this will usually
4. leave you feeling free (sometimes a bit disoriented for a second or two.)
Check in with the original problem at the end to see how you feel now about it.
(If you have a stubborn problem that is still there or keeps coming up, use the “7 Questions for a Breakthrough” on that problem.)

ADDITIONAL NOTES: your right hand can be used to anchor in these positive states so that whenever you need to tune back into them you can put your attention on your right hand and repeat your favorite positive state words. After awhile you can just say one word and it can trigger the good state(s). I use “expert” or “compassion” to tune into my resourceful states.
You can collapse any negative triggers or anchors by immediately putting them into your left hand and then switch your attention to the positive states in your right hand.

Two opposing states can’t exist at the same time, so the temporary, false, state in the left hand collapses and the natural state of confidence and love and peace remain in your right hand.
Once it's resolved and your right hand part is now activated you can always amplify that part more by making it brighter, bigger, wider, etc. and future-pace it by seeing yourself this way in the future.

Do an ecology check, which means you ask if there are any parts of you that object to this positive part, now or in the future. If any part objects or interrupts you now or in the future, stop, pay attention, describe it as above and re-frame that part.

Ask your right hand part: “What can I do to make the Best things happen?” Pay attention to the answers that come up. asking questions is one of the best ways to activate parts because our brains are wired to seek out answers for us when we ask it questions.

Let your subconscious do the work, guessing answers is fine, most of the time they are right for you, but let the unconscious mind come up with answers too, they may pop up and surprise you.

Instruct your unconscious, creative, resourceful, wise mind to come up with 100 new ideas for you and to make the best 3 conscious within the next 24 hours so you will be programming your mind to find these ideas for you. Then watch was the ideas come in at the right time.

There’s really no limit of what you can do with these techniques, or, with your own mind which you now have tools to communicate with it much better and much more effectively.

Healing Is Intentional - Be Mindful Of Yours
Jeanette
(JP)

For my free Training Videos and IPP Session Video, please see my "INNER PEACE PROCESS" Page, in case you missed it on this blog.

The Journey Begins Within. NLP for PTSD

"NLP is the best way to go within; undercover." JP

NLP Ninja is like the ability to sneak up on your issues and take them from behind and make them your best friend.

NLP Ninja - If You Can FEEL It You Can HEAL It

NLP Is Like Taking An Inner Journey Without Hypnosis And It Can Transform Complex Trauma Into Post Traumatic Growth

Going Within NLP Style*

*A natural and very useful ability to heal yourself and move toward your new goals.

It's easy if you know how.

Step 1: Go Within Yourself

Step 2: Ask Yourself (the right) Questions and Have a Simple Conversation.

Step 3: Say "Thank You for Communicating With Me"

Repeat as a daily practice or as needed. Use when you're stuck or feeling upset or just want to explore your goals on a deeper level.

No trance state required.

It's easier to Talk to yourself Within if you have a Part of you in mind OR you describe a feeling/emotion/upset/pain/body sensation - with your 5 senses and then the feeling/emotion/upset/ pain/body sensation, becomes a 'tangible' thing that makes it easier to communicate with because its not so vague anymore. (See example below).

In essence you (the conscious Awake you here and now) are having a conversation with a (unconscious) PART of you that is represented by a feeling/emotion/upset/pain/body sensation, with the purpose of helping that PART heal/transform/integrate with YOU so that you can move forward and not be stuck in an unresolved Part that tends to hold you back when stuck.

Why/How does this Work?  It works because most people tend to shut down their feeling/emotion/upset/pain/body sensation; they reach for something outside themselves to sooth it like a drink, a smoke, a drug, a food, an activity, and it may shut it up for awhile, but it does not help it resolve.

Unconscious Parts that generate unpleasant feeling/emotion/upset/pain/body sensation are there for a reason - they're there to communicate with you, if only you knew how to communicate with it.  Most of us have no idea we can communicate with our inner parts while we're awake and alert, and even if we did, most of us have no idea how or what to say or ask and even further, most of us have no clue how healing and transformative such a communication can be. Until we are taught and then we try it.

Once we learn how and try it on ourselves, and get the experience of a healing or a transformation then it all becomes crystal clear the magic of NLP and the hope and excitement of knowing anytime we have a feeling/emotion/upset/pain/body sensation, all we need do is repeat the process and then we know we can handle anything.

The GOAL of the communication is resolution. Resolution means there is no longer a problem.  The Goal of asking questions and communicating with our Inner Parts is to get your Parts to tell you what they need and want and why they are generating feeling/emotion/upset/pain/body sensation - and how to get it to work together with our New and Present Part that doesn't want to be held back anymore and is ready to move forward from any feeling/emotion/upset/pain/body sensation patterns that they notice operating in their life.

Meditation, Mindfulness, Focusing, Somatic Experiencing are all similar processes but they don't have any GOALS. The Goal is usually to calm down or relax or maybe feel centered, but there is no conscious communication and no literal or tangible resolution that you can see and feel around any specific feeling/emotion/upset/pain/body sensation.

There are many paths to go Within, but only one that uses actual Communication between your active, awake mind and your unconscious mind so that you can get to a resolution.

Here are some basic principles about using NLP to go Within:

Anytime you notice a feeling/emotion/upset/pain/body sensation or a pattern reaction, you immediately ask yourself, "WHERE DO I FEEL IT IN MY BODY".  You don't try to answer, you are asking your unconscious mind so therefore you just pause and wait for the answer to come up or you get quiet and look within or do a body scan to find it.

Some examples might be: pressure in the chest, pain in the heart, lump in the throat, sinking feeling in the stomach, aches and pains that spontaneously pop up. Sometimes it is more vague, like "in my head" or a pain behind the eyes like right before you start crying, or a vague sense that is is "all around me" as if you are inside of it.  There is no right or wrong answers.

If you "don't know", go back to the feeling/emotion/upset/pain/body sensation - how do you know you're upset? And go with that answer.  The main point here is you want to be able to identify a place in the here and now present time and not some vague memory or thought. (You can work with a vague memory or thought**, but that's a little more advanced, so try to work with a body sensation, also known as a somatic marker, first.)

Here's why. Once you identify that your feeling/emotion/upset/pain/body sensation is a pressure in your chest, for example. then you ask it the 5 NLP Questions referred to as VAK representations. V = Visual, A = Auditory and K = kinesthetic.

OK, so let's keep it simple and easy and go from here.  You're pissed off, distraught, upset, disappointed and hurt. Where do you feel it in your body? Your chest has a zingy, electric feeling or adrenaline and pain as if your ribs are pushing your chest out. Your mind is going a mile a minute. Perhaps you feel like crying or venting. But you focus on your chest and ask it 5 NLP Questions:

1. What shape is it? (V)  Pause... and go within and just look at it with your mind's eye. Don't move on to the next question until you've answered this one.  

2. What color is it? (V) Pause.... and go within and with your inner sight look at the shape in your chest and notice what color or colors it is.

3. How much does it weigh? (K)  Pause....go within again and get a sense of its weight. Take several seconds, use your imagination, guess, estimate. Is it heavier than you? It is as heavy as a bag of sugar? Ton of bricks? etc.

4. What temperature is it? (K) Again, just Pause (by now you're quieter and a little more relaxed and getting the hang of it, so you go inside yourself to investigate how warm or cool or hot or freezing the thing in your chest is. Feel it with your hands in your mind's eye. You can touch and and get a sense of it. You can feel the edges of it and sense if they are smooth or bumpy. You can even send energy or light or love into it with your hands. The mind is a powerful thing to waste, so use it to explore the various Parts of yourself that are within you.

5. What sound does it make? (A) Pause again....., and just listen.  What sound does it make? If it seems to be completely silent, say that then, but describe the silence a little more. Is it a calm quiet, a dead silence, and eerie silence? Is there a hum, low rumble, white noise

It doesn't matter what the answers are. Again, there are no right or wrong answers. There is no psychological significance to any of the answers. they don't matter. they point of the questions and answers is to get your upset into a Tangible Part of yourself you can see and feel and hear and is a separate part of you. 

The 5 questions get you and your upset separated into two different things so that you two can communicate. This is better than the upset part being you as one thing. There's you and there's a part of you that is upset over something. That part needs you. It needs you to pay attention to it and talk to it and work with it. And as a result you and it resolve the problem and work together to get what you'd rather have instead, what it wants instead.  Here's how.  

Once you get to that point, it's time now for the actual conversation to begin because you now have you (your awake conscious mind) and a Part of you as a tangible separate thing and the talking can begin in a way that is clear and easy. It's not easy talking to your unconscious mind when you're conscious mind is pissed off, distraught, upset, disappointed and hurt. 

Questions to Ask this Part

First use your imagination and put that Part in your Left hand.

This is also an NLP move... it's when you take a memory or a picture or a tangible thing in your inner mind and move it to another location. Later you can ask "where is it now?" and that question makes sense because you've moved it a couple times.  Moving a part within like that, sending it into the sun, moving it on your timeline, moving it to the left, etc. can also heal an upset instantly. I've seen it happen in seminars. It's a nice NLP move that is incorporated here to move the Thing in your Chest, that's now been described more tangible in your mind, into your Left hand where we can communicate with it better.

You're left hand serves as a nice visual for your awake conscious mind to see with open eyes, knowing that unconsciously your inner part is there and you don't feel so silly asking your empty left hand some deep questions.  It's a curious, calm experience, by this time most people are very calm and curious and awake but quieter and relaxed than before they got to this point. 

OK, so now you ask your Left Hand: (You're asking the Part of you that is in your left hand).

"Are you willing to communicate with me?"

Now here is the only point where it can go one of two ways, it can say "yes" or it can say "no".

[The rest of the steps below assume it said "yes" and if it said "No", you just skip to STEP X Below.]

Left Hand says , "Yes.". you say, "Thank you for communicating with me".

You then ask, "What do you want?" Pause and see what comes up.

Sit there and wait as if you just asked a real person and they're thinking and you're waiting for them to answer you patiently. If you're not getting anything, just go within again and focus on the tangible thing, focus on its shape, color, etc again and ask it on the inside (in your mind, not out-loud), What do you want? Ask with a sense of curiosity and compassion and patience. Don't try to demand a fast answer or get mad at it and certainly do not go into your conscious mind and start trying to figure out the answer. just pause and wait it out. Something always comes up. (And if it doesn't, then it is OK to just guess. Use your imagination (not your analytical mind of figuring or analyzing it out), just guess what it wants.

Usually something will come up.  You ask it deeper questions along with same lines, like "Are you trying to help me in some way?"  Why are you generating this upset, what's the purpose of it? What's your intention for being here? Are you trying to protect me or keep me safe or warn me? Are you trying to get me to pay attention to you?"

We go straight to the point of "What do you want" because its a nice direct question and we're giving it permission to be real with us an tell us without all the small talk first. The whole point was to get it to comm with us so we could find out what it wants. once we know what it wants we can then work with it. but we got to know it's intention too so we can help it get what it wants too. as with any rel or negotiation both sides want something, its good to hear that upfront so you can work together to both get what you want . if one side can't get what it wants why would it want to cooperate or disappear/heal? a part of you is generating this upset and this body sensation in order to tell you something in the first place, so ask it what it wants.

There are some universal themes in the answers because ALL PARTS OF US WANT TO HELP US. Even if our conscious mind doesn't think all our upsets want to help us, all the parts know instinctively that you are all part of a you and they are all on your side to preserve their one life with you. Parts are there to help us. So if you don't know that yet, its OK, just assume it wants to help and ask "Are you trying to help me in some way" so it can give you the answer.

It usually wants to protect you, warn you, keep you safe. By their very nature Parts are tying to keep you safe, especially trauma parts because trauma is all about safety and feeling safe again.

So whatever it tells you what it wants, what its intention is, WRITE THAT DOWN.

Step X - This is the point where you put your Left Hand Aside and pull up your Right Hand.

Inside that Right hand, you put in the following 9 Human Needs and Resource States that are universal also.

Let's start with LOVE.  Everyone feels love. You put your Love in your Right Hand.  What I do is think of something I love to do or someone I love or even an activity I love doing, and I get a sense of loving it and I use my imagination and put that love into my right hand. then I go to the next word, get a feel of it with or without a personal example from my life, and put it in my right hand, and so one down the list of 9 states of mind. Say the state, pause and feel it, put it in your right hand, move on to the next word.

love

strength

courage

centeredness

faith

gratitude

energy 

power

compassion.... self-compassion... feel compassion for yourself for having had to go through so many things and for having to deal with this upset, etc. just have compassion for yourself mainly. You can also feel compassion for others here too, but don't leave out the self.

Now in your Right hand you have a combination of 9 Resources. This is also an unconscious Part of you that you just consciously, intentionally put together.

Now you have 2 Parts of you that can communicate with each other. You don't even have to hear what they're saying, you just know on an unconscious level they are and you tell them to signal you when they're done. 

Here's how:

OK, so you have your left hand and your right hand being held out in front of you.

You direct the left hand, you tell it, to tell the right hand all of it's problems, from root to leaf, just give all the upset problems and any related problems to the right hand. Let the Left Hand tilt toward the right, and just imagine its sending all its info into the right hand until its done. When its done, let the left hand relax again, (stop tilting toward right), just let it sit there while you go tell the right hand what to do next. 

The right hand can handle all the problems because its a powerhouse of 9 of the best resources states that relate the universal human needs. You tell the right hand to come up with some new ideas to help the left hand. What I do is tell my right hand to take in all the problems and intentions of the left, and come up with some new ideas on how to help the left hand that include resource states, and not just the upset states. This sense of New ideas is what helps the upset get unstuck, because its run out of options and is stuck in the only way it knows how to keep you safe - generate upset feelings to get your attention.

I tell the right hand to generate new ideas over the next 24 hours and also to give us at least 1 or 2 new ideas in the next 5 minutes. This allows it space and time to work on the issue, while also giving us something right now to work with.

I tell the right hand to let me know when it's done. I usually just feel a sense that it's done after a few long moments and then we're ready for the next step.

I go back to the Left and ask it if its ready to work together with the Right, to get its intention and needs met by letting the Right Resources help it, so that the upset doesn't have to get generated anymore. If we could accomplish its goals (get its intention and needs met) without the upset, would it be willing to work with the Right hand to do so?  

You pause and wait for it to say "Yes", it's willing. If it says "No" skip to Step Y below. 

After it says Yes, it'll work together with the right hand, have the two hands move toward each other until they come together and hold each other to symbolize on the inside and the outside that they are now working together.

This is called Integrating Parts and its how upsets are resolved on the inside and how resource states help you with new idea to fill the void in order to move forward. Healing is never complete without a movement of action forward, even if just a baby step forward, because it needs the challenge to grow. We always grow after resolving a conflict. we learn from all our experiences and we grow more mature, we grow wiser, we grow more loving, we grow in our recovery and wellness, etc. But we still live in our bodies on the outside in the world, not in our heads. Therefore we need to get to the behavior level where we take actions.

Once the two hands are holding each other, they are forming a new part now, a super part. A part that knows your upset pattern and a part with all your needs met and resources and strengths activated and it's ready to move forward so we must ask it a couple last questions to hear what we need to do out here in the real world.

Here's how.

We ask the new, super part a question that goes like this:  "Now that this issue is resolved, what's the first thing I need to do?"

Again, simple and to the point, "what do I need to do next?" Pause, and wait for it to tell you. Wait for the answer to just come up.

Write that answer down.  Clarify it, as in repeat it out-loud, see how it sits with you, make sure its a tangible action, a task you could write in your calendar today tomorrow or this week that you could do and that you can see yourself doing, and that you can see yourself accomplishing and getting done. If you got it, then write that down, that's the next thing you're going to do later today, or in the near future (this week or next week, don't go any further out that that. Make it something you can easily do in the next few days for best outcomes.)

Next question. OK, after you get that done, what's the next thing you're going to do?

This question is a Future-Pace question that will enhance your motivation and drive because you now have 2 tasks lines up and that's all you need to get momentum going.  You will find that your motivation is quite high at this point, so you capitalize on that to attack it to real tasks you can get done.  You will find yourself getting them done and feeling a rush of energy or confidence when you accomplish it. It's really an amazing feeling. Without the upset holding you back like an anchor preventing your boat from moving, and since your in alignment with your own personal goals and intentions, there is a natural excitement about them. Plus the sense of freedom from bondage of the upset because the upset is gone, but its also happy and content and feels well taken care of so it's in full cooperation with the resources parts. It's there to lend wisdom of past experience but without generating upsets, its now works with the resources to generate New Ideas for Tasks that you can get done that move you toward your goals.

You can accomplish any goal with just 2 steps at a time. so this is more than sufficient to get you going and you can always go within and ask your part, what is the next thing to get done now that those other tasks got done This is how you move forward with natural motivation and drive and not force of will and resistance trying to force yourself to get things done. This is also how to resolve or heal emotional upsets and this is also how to integrate parts that were shattered apart from trauma. They get back together by way of communication with each other, hearing each other out on what they need and aligning with strengths to feel safe and move forward at the same time.

The most important question one can ask him/her self is, "What do I want". 

It's important because complex trauma sufferers rarely have permission or with no strings attach to what they want, especially those exploited by caregivers with personality disorders. in fact, it can be used as a regular practice using NLP to heal what comes up when you ask. Asking for what you want can feel dangerous and scary. Use the NLP process on the fears and then embrace what you want without it blocking your way anymore. It's a great "want" healer for those who are codependent and don't know how to focus on themselves and what they need or want and in extension their goals for what they want to do with their life. 

Remember the problem with trauma is not feeling safe and being stuck. The solution is safety, support, resources and that helps it get unstuck and gives it what it needs so it can move forward again. Movement is life. Nothing stuck or stagnation can grow and indeed over time it causes de-compensation, regressing, etc. how it gets worse if you remain stuck for years. it doesn't go away and it doesn't get better. it needs to move. everything needs to move. motion is lotion. use it or lose it. we need to keep our lives moving, our bodies moving or minds moving, nothing can just stop and stay there forever. 

So now you have 2 tasks to do in the near future and that is the end of the process. Look at the clock and although if feels like you went deep within yourself for a good half hour at least is not 45 minutes or more, you notice 12 minutes have gone by from the first question. This is another benefit of the method. 

You write down those 2 things and plan to do them.  Two weeks later you want to look back and journal about your experience and how you've been doing and what you've been doing in the last 2 weeks. Did you get your 2 tasks done? Has the upset come back any? Remember that original upset, how does it feel now? Can you try to make yourself upset about it or have you moved on and you now feel happy or free from it?  It's always a good idea to check in 2 weeks later.

The reason we need to check in 2 weeks later, is people tend to have enough relief and momentum to just keep living there life and moving on. But the problem happens because problems happen. And you want to be ready for the next one. The only want to be truly ready and to want to come back to this process every time an upset comes up, is to evaluate how it worked out for you when you used it.

So review in 2 weeks for best results.

Remember to come back to this NLP process the next time you get upset. And the next. There is a nice accumulation effect if you practice this for about 90 days. You find you have healed quite a lot and are free from many stuck issues and have processed them and are moving on, etc and more importantly you know how to manage yourself.  After 90 days other than a refresher every other month or every 6 months maybe, you really don't need to do it very often - just do it as needed whenever you are triggered or upset, or notice a Pattern operating in your life or relationships. 

How Often Should I Journey Within Like This?

The best way I have found to use it, is to use it for 15 minutes a day. Practice it regularly for 90 days and then use as needed and maybe twice a year use it for general upkeep purposes.

** If you can only identify a vague memory or thought, then you need to ask yourself how you know you have it (if its not a body sensation). Is it a picture in your head? Or like a short movie clip? Or a voice of what someone said to you? If you have a picture of a memory or sounds of an old conversation, you can still work with that. If its a cloud over your head or a vague dark feeling or mist or seems all around you, you can still ask it the 5 VAK questions. As you practice going within like this and feeling with your mind's eye, this becomes easier and easier and is actually a very pleasant experience once you get over some initial bumps. Feeling your good feelings like this can be a magic experience, almost out of body type mild euphoric experience. But if you have no body sensation but you have a memory picture or movie or you just have a voice or conversation, then you just ask yourself more NLP questions for example; is the picture black and white or in color, what direction is the sound coming from (to the left, back and above my head) or (in my head in the back like an old memory, etc.) Just find the location and or describe in more detail. Whose voice it is (mom, old friend, etc.) and is it soft or loud, what is the tone? These questions are describing location and visual and auditory and you can go within via these also. It is just easier with a body sensation to separate yourself out from it in the beginning because you take a real life feeling you feel while wide awake, go within yourself and create this tangible thing out of it that is like talking to another person and it's neat to communicate with your unconscious mind like this without trance or hypnosis. It is an easy way for your conscious mind to communicate with your unconscious mind. It's also the most painless method I have come across in my life long search for a healing method that works on the obsessive thought (usually negative ones about myself and my life and my past) that I have ever found. I've been using it since 2013 I'm pretty sure. I got more serious about using it while in the Bay area and we moved there in 2013. It's  now Sept 2017 as I write this and I use it weekly on myself, friends, partner and some clients. It has worked every single time and I have dozens of case studies of the before and after results.

What Happens Next?

Well, a good idea might be to do what Gary Craig creator of EFT Tapping said to do with his energy therapy/emotional healing method: The Personal Peace Procedure.

The Personal Peace Procedure. is simply sitting down with paper and pen and write a list of 50 or more things that you want to work on. Write a list of things that upset you, scare you, bother you. Keep listing everything you can think of until you can't think of anything else. It could be 100 things, it could be 3 pages long. Just write at least 50. Include memories of bad times or people you're mad at or people who are mad at you or times you lost things, were fired, whatever, just write them down.

Once you've done this brain dump of writing a list of all your issues. You simply start with the first one and do the healing process on that one. Do 1 per day for 90 days. It takes about 15 minutes to do the NLP inner journey, so this is very easy and do-able for anyone no matter how busy or how lazy they are. 

I find that things that are easy or fun or both, are easier to actually want to do.

Imagine clearing up one issue a day for 90 days. What difference might you see in your life? Is it worth it to try?

Now What?

Time to pick one issue and give it a try. To make it easier for you, I made a session VIDEO to facilitate the whole questioning process for you. You can even pause the video as you go within and wait for the answers.  The way I put together the NLP elements into my own system (I describe all the NLP elements in this article and the reason why I include them in my method), I like to call The INNER PEACE PROCESS of "IPP" for short.

Not to be confused with The Personal Peace Procedure. which is making a list of your troubles and difficulties and healing them one by one over 30 - 90 days and beyond. Please note, there is no set rule set in stone, these are just guidelines to make it as easy as possible for you to do it without having to figure all this out on your own. I only include the most essential and necessary elements to get a full process result, meaning you clear up an upset and you move forward toward what you want, all in one procedure. I see too many healing methods that don't include moving forward and  I see a lot of goal setting procedures that do not include integrating the old parts. As a result these 2 methods alone are incomplete making it harder to keep at them and make any progress.

Next Step:

Try The Inner Peace Process (IPP) Video Here.  The Inner Peace Process - Give Yourself A Session

Tips for doing the IPP Today:

1. Identify a specific problem. Write it down on a piece of paper or open up a note pad. 

2. Rate it on a scale of 1 - 10 how distressing it is, 10 being the worst. You might even note how long you've had this problem and how this problem negatively impacts your life. (Turn on the video and listen for 15 minutes).

3. You can write down the answers to the questions as you go through the process, but the main one to write down is the Part's Intention and what it wants, and then later your 2 tasks.

4. When done, tune back into the original problem and rate it on a scale of 1 - 10, so you have the before and after number. 

5. Write the date on your paper and also mark your calendar for 2 weeks from now so you can look back and see how you feel. At 2 weeks rate the issue again with a 1- 10 rating for how stressful it is at that time. If in 2 weeks its still a high stress number, I'd suggest doing the IPP again to see what is left that needs to be addressed and repeat. I've rarely had to do the IPP on any issue more than once or twice. At times it is just another aspect of the problem coming up that needs processing. An example of this is that the first time you do IPP on an issue, you are very upset and angry and hurt and 2 weeks later you notice you are more sad and like grieving a loss. Just 2 different aspects of the same problem that can be healed, cleared up and integrated. Continue to ask yourself for what you want and what 2 tasks you need to do next to continue moving forward with your life and recovery.

Afterthought: 

I will do another video on a real issue with an explanation for what I write down as I go through each step so it will be even more clear for you. 

If you'd like you can comment and let me know how it worked for you or ask any questions you may have. All the Best! 

Thanks for reading,

Jeanette (JP)