There's a trend these days, everyone is talking about C-PTSD. Which is great, we need more awareness and education about it. We need more trauma-informed workers in all areas.
So here's my take on C-PTSD. These are not all my thoughts, they are my take on about a dozen books I've read on the topic this year and my experience working with trauma clients, and of course my own struggle and journey from C-PTSD to recovery and wellness.
1. People get stuck on the actual diagnosis too literally. There is no C-PTSD officially in the DSM, there is just PTSD. Complex Trauma has been around but no one coined the term until recently, which helped explain the trauma that people who didn't go to war, or who didn't witness someone die, etc. the traditional trauma events, and yet they had all the signs and symptoms of PTSD.
We knew childhood trauma caused a type of PTSD but it was hard to explain, and at least now we have a good term and some excellent books on the topic (See Pete Walker's books and articles on Complex-PTSD from Surviving to Thriving).
2. So we're diagnosed by therapists and psychiatrists - IN ORDER TO DO BILLING! They need a diagnosis so they can bill insurance. That's it. It's a function of the system. What we really need after that is some explanation on what that is, what to expect, what meds are for what and what we can do to help ourselves. (See WRAP for Trauma book and notes below on what we can DO about it).
3. The diagnosis is based on symptoms. Now PTSD is a unique diagnosis because it's based on a.) an trauma EVENT (the cause) and b.) MEMORIES (flashbacks, nightmares, being flooded with memories, blocking out memories, avoiding memories), (the effect). But that leaves people still in the dark, it doesn't explain it all and it doesn't help with what to do for recovery.
4. There are 2 other factors that need to be addressed: 1.) how we appear to others when we're suffering from PTSD and 2.) what's going on INSIDE of us when we're suffering from PTSD. And, again, 3. what can be done for it to help.
5. How we appear to others is moody, distant, angry, like victims, hard to reach, withdrawn, nervous, not wanting to go out and do things, etc. and so most people distance themselves or abandon us because they just don't know what to do with all that. They're scared to get us upset, they're scared we'll go off on another rant or break down crying, they're scared they'll make it worse, they feel helpless and frustrated that no matter what they say or do it doesn't seem to help, and do they give up.
6. How we feel inside is a whole other world. We are in a strange place. It's as if life pulled the rug out from under us and we're not grounded, but lost and floating in the unknown with lots of scary stuff going on in our head and how we see the world. It's hard for us to connect with others. We deal with triggers, nightmares, flashbacks, anxiety, anger, rage, grief, shame - and pretty much all alone with it because no one seems to get it or want to. Our safety and trust have been shattered, so we question life, God, ourselves and don't know who to trust.
7. Our reaction or coping to PTSD. Not knowing what to do, we end up isolating to try and stay safe. We lock ourselves up in our own little world, soothing ourselves the best we can, afraid we might go off on someone, scared people will hurt us again, so we keep to ourselves. This isolation is a way to cope at first and may feel safe, but over time it becomes our prison where we see our depression and anxiety and negative thinking have gotten worse, but have no idea what to do - we feel doomed, damaged and that our life will never be good. This can lead to even more giving up or coping with harmful substances, numbing out with meds or alcohol and still no real coping or healing is going on.
8. Our "split-personality". We go offline and online. We're online when we feel like ourselves and go about our daily lives. And, then we get triggered and are hijacked by our nervous system, the mind can't handle it all so we go offline, disassociate, space out, seem like we're there physically but mentally we're off somewhere else. It's hard to hear others when we're offline. We're deep inside trying to sort out all the stuff we just got bombarded with on the inside. People and even counselors who don't recognize this as a sign of PTSD think we've shut down, are "resistant" or don't want to get better. They have no idea what's going on inside of us and we have no words and no courage to voice it to them. It's too much of a risk to say it out-loud and not be heard or validated.
9. C-Trauma makes it hard to connect to those we love. We isolate even within marriages and families and at work. We want to connect, but just can't and when our brains our offline, we really can barely function at times.
10. It's not your fault. PTSD is a real phenomenon that happens to people who have been traumatized. Our brains and nervous system have changed to accommodate the shock. We're stuck in mental loops and recycling of patterns and issues and have no idea how to process it. For those of us brave enough to do therapy or support groups and start to talk about it - we feel like we've done "the work" and yet there goes another trigger and we're right back where we started. Very discouraging. We don't know what we did wrong, or right, what works or doesn't. We're just trying to survive it.
11. EMDR - Eye-Movement Desensitization Reprocessing. A method that helps the brain sort out and process the memories that brings about healing and emotional relief. It takes a licensed therapist trained in EMDR if you're lucky enough to find one. It's draining. It takes a lot of work. It's worth the work - 1 year of EMDR sessions felt like 5 years of traditional talk therapy. But there's a lot of re-living of experiences and emotional ups and downs that go with it. With a good therapist and support and self-care, it's been the only answer for many years of how we heal PTSD.
12. EFT Tapping. Emotional Freedom Techniques, or 'Tapping' for short. Then energy therapy came along and millions of people were Tapping on their acupuncture points to help the fight or flight response calm down, deal with our issues and finally have a tool for self-soothing and processing that didn't require a therapist. But there are limits. Many practitioners aren't trauma-informed and go for a quick fix, not giving us enough time to get ready for it and articulate our story. It's a great tool for processing but healing and recovery is more than just processing the bad stuff.
13. NLP. Neuro-Linguistic Programming. My favorite. Don't get me wrong, I completely believe and see now that we need so much more (See 'WRAP') below. But NLP is not a bad start. The difference between NLP and EFT (I'm a practitioner of both), is that EFT is tapping your issues away and NLP is communicating with your own unconscious mind to resolve your issues and call up your strengths to be able to move forward. I said "move forward", not "move on" - which is the worse invalidating insult you can say to a trauma victim. There is no moving on. There is no forgetting. There is no going back. You are changed forever and can't just 'move on'. I'll slap the next person who dares to tell me to move on! But there is moving forward. There is an alchemy of transformation where you integrate your trauma with who you are now so you can still live a life that you really like and that serves you well, but you bring your wisdom from the process of healing with you. It's always with you. But it can be made to serve you rather than imprison you.
14. It all starts in the mind. And then the mind stores it as memories, beliefs, feelings, etc. in our unconscious mind. When you have the ability to communicate with your unconscious mind - you are helping it get 'unstuck' 'unfrozen in time' and moving forward with what it needs in the here and now.
(Please see my "Inner Peace Process" NLP technique training and session videos on another page on this blog for more of how to easily learn how to do that.)
15. Your mind knows everything about you. It knows exactly what you need and want and has lots of ideas on how to help you get there with all the resources, skills, talents, abilities and interests it has also been storing for you unconsciously. when you use a technique to help dissipate the trauma stuck points, you clear the room for the resources to start to come alive again. And that's the beauty of NLP. NLP is a set of techniques, mostly question and answer processes, that paves the way for you (your awake conscious mind, no trance required) to communicate with your unconscious mind (no trance required, you can do it all with a very awake conscious mind, in fact it gives the conscious mind something fascinating to do while you "meditate/mindful" going within journey.
You go on your OWN journey, not some scripted creative visualization or hypnotic trance to 'program' your subconscious mind to be your robot or slave where you hope it works.
You actively tune in with your own within via the body to tap into your unconscious parts that are generating somatic markers/body sensations.
These 'body sensations' (subtle or not so subtle gut feelings, lump in throat, pressure in your chest, heart racing or aching) are being generated by your subconscious mind! So they are the gateway in to talking to the many 'Parts" that your subconscious mind holds, all the issues, all the resources, all of "you".
So when you know HOW to get access to and communicate with your unconscious mind, now the next thing is what to say?
We keep it simple and get straight to the heart of the matter; we ask it what it wants.
The magic question. (I know, I call all my NLP questions magic questions, but they're like little miracles that can change our entire life around!).
But, asking "What do you want?" is a very good, clever and wise thing to repeatedly ask yourself.
You don't think of the answer, you pause and allow it to well up inside you. Every time you ask yourself a question, the mind can't help but go searching for the answer, and it won't stop util it finds it. Curiosity is our greatest weakness when it comes to grabbing our attention, just ask any marketer.
Ok, so let's sum up NLP. It's a way to communicate with your unconscious mind while you're awake and it feels like a natural conversation, you elicit needed information from it, you find out what it wants and it's good intention and that's all that is needed to get the conversation going because then you go into calling up your inner resources and that part of your unconscious mind has a lot of exciting ideas about what it wants for you because it is speaking from your deepest dreams and authentic calling.
You get these two parts to work together and its so natural and easy to do that, all it takes is another question.
And as a result of them negotiating how to work together to get both their needs met, the next step is the moving forward by seeing what it is you need to do next to take care of yourself. Now you have your mission and a natural motivation to step into those next steps. End of session. You leave it feeling renewed, refreshed, re-energized and with the issues behind you and your next steps in front of you, off you go to live your life.
And each session builds on each other where steps turn into goals that turn into moving into your dreams and desires.
Sounds like Tony Robbins, but its true. When you learn how to communicate with your inner parts in just 15 minutes and you feel an issue resolved and you're ready to move on to doing something you need to do for you that said issue used to hold you back from, you are on the path of leaving the nightmares behind you as you move forward into your dreams.
16. WRAP. Wellness Recovery Action Plan. This is where everything gets tied together. This is the place where you map out your issues and coping skills to use on them, This is the place you come up with your own personalized daily routine to keep yourself well and happy. This is the place to plan for crisis and after crisis. This is a place to not only manage your symptoms but create your lifestyle so you can heal, recover, get well and start living. Even if its one baby step at a time. It's a start, It's a map, it's a plan for your recovery and wellness.
More on WRAP in another post, but for now, it's added to the list of understanding C-PTSD and what to DO about it.
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